Content to Boogie

Swoosh, I am swept along, atop the white water. The bubble and foam bounce me side to side; up and down. Then I glide like a bird, rushing inshore fast on the power of the wave, I grip the nose of my blue board. The cream sand rushes faster towards me, the wind flows over my wet body, spots of seawater splash my face stinging my eyes. My heart beats, I feel light, flowing, moving effortlessly. The rush of excitement is replaced by the comfort of contentment washing over me.

Beached on the sand, there is a raucous laugh. I look around. It is from me. I have rediscovered the simple thrill of surfing the waves on a boogie or body board. I prefer calling my board coloured with blue and golden a boogie board, it’s how it makes me feel.

I snatch a glance out to sea over the tumbling waves and white water. From the back, the deep green blue is building into light blue curls. Inadequately formed curls for board riders but they are perfect for me. Tucked under my arm I push out through the foam powering into the breaking waves, till finally I’m in position for another ride.

A wave forms, its jaw curls high, the gaping blue mouth is ready to devour me. A thrust with my legs sends me into the top of the wave; with a hard kick and a strong paddle I drag myself along the wave into position to ride its power. The rush of excitement flows over me as I thrust and glide towards the shore.

After several deep breathes, I am ready to go again but I look across the bubbling water. People with grey hair have frowns of concentration and smiles, with their boogie boards pressed against their bodies. Like me they have found the joy of being content with the simple things.

I have been encouraged to progress to surfing. Try the standup paddle board. Why is there always something more?

How often that has arisen. My rediscovered joy of running, includes a speed session, of pace and endurance, with my new found running group.

I am the only one with grey hair. During recovery, with my muscles aching and blue top drenched in sweat my body is acknowledging a brutal session of sustained effort. The discussion turns towards individual goals.

Ultra distance runs, mountain trail runs, marathons and half marathons, multi-distance events. The regular community five-kilometre park run is enough for me. But even I have pushed myself to complete our group’s ten kilometre run.

Why was I not content with the five but instead I had to push on to the ten – to prove to myself I could do once, what I used to do, every week, thirty years ago.

I let myself be convinced to progress to the twelve kilometre bay run, I have three months to prepare. This will be painful, I know I will be sore, and my body will not thank me for the extension.

As I make the ten kilometre course a regular training run, I wrestle with the thought that I should have been content with the shorter distances. If I get through unscathed, I will be satisfied but will I then be content?

I admire people, who want to push themselves, I used to be one of them. I may once again be one of those people. Why else would I meet in the early morning darkness on a deserted oval, like the member of a secret society, for speed sessions with my group if I did not want to feel the satisfaction of pushing myself.

Striving for more, striving for satsifaction but it may not bring happiness. An industry of well-being to help people pursue happiness, whatever that means. There can be a thrill in the simple pleasures and be content with what we have; what we are.

With another speed session complete, I need to cool off. I grab my boogie board, content to lay down in the surf and be carried into shore.

March 21, 2023 0

2021 – Are we there yet?

Hi there, I know it has been a while and the end of 2020 is almost in sight. Being busy with life, the busyness of life and doing what can be done to avoid COVID has taken priority over writing.

If you have been busy navigating life in the zone, here’s a few things you may have missed about life in the GreyZone, COVID free.

DITY- Men…Doing It to Yourself

Extreme Art Making

Flying in the Sky with Deborah

“Women of my age tend to drink”

Culture in the GreyZone: Do we need to mention Xanadu is 40, Psycho at 60: Hitchcock’s shocking game-changer.

DITY- Men…Doing It to Yourself

In a world’s first study of long-term impacts from ladder falls, researchers from the Queensland University of Technology and Queensland Health, found that ladder falls are one of the most common injuries presented at the emergency department. Injuries could range from the expected broken bones n damaged egos to serious brain trauma and could even result in death.

And it should be no surprise that the researchers found men over the age of 50 made up more than half of ladder-related fall cases. Former music host and guru, Ian Molly Meldrum sustained serious head injuries when he fell from a ladder. Peter Starkie the founding member of the 1970’s chart topping Australian group Skyhooks died age 72, after falling off a ladder in Melbourne.

And you will be shocked to learn that most of these injuries did not occur on worksites. A researcher Dr Rob Eley, at University of Queensland’s faculty of medicine, noted the accidents did not happen where strict occupational health and safety codes are in place, “but in the home”. Eley found that almost all of the injuries that occurred could have been avoided.

“Often, they were the result of inattention – people climbing back up a ladder to fix one last thing or grab a tool; or reaching too far, then falling.”

As Australia’s population ages, and more men enter into retirement age, these types of home improvement injuries are on the rise, Dr Helen Ackland, a researcher at the National Trauma Research Institute found in her research.

“We’ve had 80- and 90-year-olds up ladders … they’re used to doing things at home themselves, so they continue doing it past the age where they probably should be delegating to someone else.” I think I may know someone who fits that description, just this last weeknd three times I had to tell him to get off the ladder.

And the tips from the researchers included that while regulation could help, “How about not falling to begin with?”

Eley notes that alcohol has been a factor in some injuries. “The message that I say to people is be very careful when you’re using a ladder, even more careful of using a ladder with a power tool, and certainly don’t use power tools on a ladder after you’ve been drinking.”

The study from Queensland University of Technology and Queensland Health, was published in the journal Plos One.

Product Safety Australia has launched a national education campaign ‘Ladder safety matters’ to encourage older Australian men to stop and think before they use a ladder. Find out more here.

Extreme Art Making

As long as you are as fit as 60-year-old, Simon Beck, who walks for hours creating amazing snow art. The art works created by just using his feet, walking to precise co-ordinates.

Cartographer Simon Beck has been a snow artist for over a decade, using snow fields the size of sports fields as his canvas, to carve his own epic geometric designs and designs in the untouched powder. The circles and tumbling triangles unfold slowly with each step. The meticulous moves he’s made reveal themselves into the entire design when viewed from above.

Up close I guess he looks like a lost man wandering about, rather than an artist hard at work.

Beck’s design begins with careful planning, mapping out a design on paper using one millimetre as the scale for one step on the ground. A day’s work can be 12 hours of trudging through the snow, where Beck uses his snowshoes, a ski pole, and other tools to get through the long task of walking to realise his design from the sketch. His incredible artwork relies on the co-operation from nature to provide the right conditions and from the nearby skiers to not plough through his creation.

As someone who is spatially challenged, I found the designs brought to life an unbelievable sight to consider they start on a piece of paper, and using only a compass, and by counting paces he produces mathematical and geometric inspired works of art.

Visit Simon Beck to see his amazing designs

Flying in the Sky with Deborah

Entering the grey zone in 2020, was the 40^th anniversary of a land mark high court decision which saw Deborah Lawrie become first female pilot of a major Australian airline.

Lawrie became a pioneer for women’s rights after taking Ansett all the way to the High Court in 1980 to protest against its decision to deny her the right to fly because of her gender.

It was her tenacity and determination to become a commercial pilot that has made Deborah Lawrie a trail blazer in 1980.

While some smaller regional airlines had female pilots, no major Australian airline had ever employed a woman pilot and it required years of rejections and a battle in the Sex Discrimination Commission before Ansett finally took her on.

In an interview with the ABC she said “(Reg) Ansett ran the company and he was very anti-women. His main reason was that he considered they wouldn’t be safe,”

Indeed, in previous cases it was argued that her earrings could be a safety hazard if they got caught on the side of the aircraft in the event of an emergency evacuation.

Deborah Lawrie set numerous milestones in 2020, including being inaugurated into the Australian aviation industry’s Hall of Fame, marking 50 years of flying and being the World’s oldest female commercial pilot still flying for a major commercial airline. Well into the grey zone, at 66 Lawrie was an A320Training Captain for Tiger Airways until Tiger became a victim of the COVID shutdown.

“Women of my age tend to drink”

The Australian National Health and Medical Research Council (NHMRC) has released new guidelines to reduce health risks from drinking alcohol.

Perhaps coincidentally released in the year of a pandemic where there was a rise in consumption at home and just in time for the season to be jolly, the new guidelines replace the 2009 version. This revision recommended a reduction in both the daily and weekly intake.

Research from 2019 for Edith Cowan University may provide an insight in attitudes to alcohol as we move towards a return to normal. In conjunction with Danish researchers, the investigation into drinking behaviour as a social construct found alcohol use to be “a deeply gendered behaviour.”

Research found that older women may drink as an assertion of control that takes precedence over the health impacts of booze. While some women reported reducing their drinking due to health concerns, others neutralised alcohol‐related health risks through compensatory behaviours including exercise.

A quote from one of the participants into their attitudes to drinking stated “Women of my age tend to drink”.

That’s a good enough reason for me, it sure replaces “if you lived with my husband/partner- you would drink too!”

Culture in the GreyZone

It was 20 years ago 50 years ago today…

By the time Paul McCartney sued his fellow Beatles, and their parent company Apple Corp, in London’s High Court of Justice on December 31, 1970 to dissolve the icoic band, their relationship had already gone south.

The attempts to recreate the magic of their early years through the White Album, Abbey Road and Let it Be had come to nothing, except containing some of their most enduring songs.

Their music and influence remain embedded in the fabric of pop culture. This year of 2020 marks the passage of time from this tumultuous period of Beatles history, when several milestones themselves are worthy of being acknowledged in the grey zone.

The Beatles broke up 50 years ago, officially in December 1970 but in practice the magic had ended in April 1970;
50 years have passed since John Lennon’s solo album was released in December to the UK and US markets.
It is 40 years since Lennon’s murder on December 8, 1980
In 2020, John Lennon would have turned 80.

Do we need to mention Xanadu is 40?

Being an Australian, I must mark the passing of Xanadu, the movie, into the grey zone. The movie which turned 40, starred our iconic Olivia Newton-John fresh from her breakthrough in Grease. The 1980 movie, must have seemed like a good idea/career move at the time but was a messy attempt to combine a classic musical with the roller-disco craze.

The movie was such a flop that Universal cancelled press screenings of Xanadu, it was alleged to have co-inspired the Golden Raspberry Awards, which are given for “failure in cinematic achievements,” and Variety called it “a stupendously bad film whose only salvage is the music”; the musical spawning 5 hits:

“Magic” Olivia Newton-John
“Xanadu” Olivia Newton-John/ELO
“All Over the World” – Electric Light Orchestra (No. 13 Pop, No. 45 AC)
“I’m Alive” – Electric Light Orchestra (No. 16 Pop, No. 48 AC, certified gold)
“Suddenly” – Olivia Newton-John/Cliff Richard

Psycho at 60: Hitchcock’s shocking game-changer

Psycho was unleashed on unsuspecting cinema goers in 1960 by the master film maker- Alfred Hitchcock. Hitchcock was himself 61 at the time, was well into the Grey Zone. He was innovating with how the audience followed the action through the predatory and salacious gaze of Norman Bates.

He made a new rule that’s now commonplace in cinemas. In those days, people entered a theatre whenever they wanted, even if it was long after the movie’s starting time, and would stick around to see what they had missed.

Hitchcock didn’t want late-comers wondering where Janet Leigh was, so dictated that no one would be seated after the film started. The film’s newspaper ads pleaded with the audience to play along, saying, “Please do not give away the ending. It’s the only one we have!”

Knowing absolutely nothing about the movie going in, audiences were left unprepared for the combined shock of losing the main character and having it happen in the most traumatic way possible, the music a mind-bending crescendo of screeching violins, violas, and cellos with the sickening schik-schik of a knife penetrating skin.

But it’s not a slasher movie – Hitchcock’s genius lies in what he doesn’t show. At no point do we see the knife actually “slash” or penetrate the skin, yet still it makes audiences flinch.

Hitchcock’s deal on “Psycho” was also a game – changer. The unprecedented deal was in exchange for his autonomy at Paramount, he deferred a salary, instead receiving 60% of the negative ownership, the gamble earning Hitchcock roughly $40m in today’s money.

Till next time

I trust this post pleasantly distracted you from the every day. Thanks for reading and best wishes for your safe journies through the grey zone, till we meet again next time.

December 18, 2020 0

Life in the Grey Zone

While we’ve been masking, isolating and sanitising our way to dodge around the virus that has targeted us in the grey zone, there have been many other good and interesting events happening in the world.

Here’s a few of the notable happenings in the grey zone that you may have missed over the last few months.

Tea drinkers unite and live longer.

“The black tea drinkers are getting older,” the head of Unilever recently told investors, “They are consuming less,” he said and will soon “start to fall over”.

According to Unilever cups of tea are falling out of vogue with young people. As a result, the firm is struggling to grow its black tea brands in western markets like the UK and the US.

Unilever’s chief financial officer, Graeme Pitkethly, said that although young people do drink tea, it tends to be “quite high-end, expensive products”. Pitkethly was quoted as saying “I drink five or six cups of builder’s tea a day, but unfortunately we are dying at a faster rate than generation Z and millennials are consuming it.”

The consumer goods giant has said that Generation Z and millennial consumers much prefer herbal teas and coffees instead. Over the last two years, demand for black tea has fallen while demand has risen for herbal and cold tea infusions.

Researchers reported young people’s tastes have changed with black teas being seen as too strong, needing sugar or honey to sweeten the tea in turn losing out to herbal teas which were more appealing with floral aromas and they are perceived as healthier.

A legitimate reason perhaps; unlike theories of the rise of Instagram which means that beverages need to make a big impact so that people want to take a photo of their Starbucks Frappe topped with cream.

Like any seasoned tea drinker firmly in the greyzone, the health benefits of tea are easy to find. Researchers at the University of California and Brown University found tea improved eyesight; those who drank at least one cup were 74 per cent less likely to develop glaucoma. Totally practical and appropriate reason to savour a good cuppa.

Leave me comment to let me know if you like a nice cup of tea and how you like your tea.

Grey hair- it’s not because I’m old!

Scientists at Harvard University have shown how stress can speed up the greying process. Biologists found that stress causes nerves involved in the fight-or-flight response to pump out a hormone which wipes out the stem cells used to make hair pigments.

Stress can be considered a form of accelerated ageing. The discovery has raised hopes for treatments that can slow down or even halt normal age-related greying. A breakthrough if you don’t find greying hair appealing!

Perhaps another reason to slow down, de-stress and perhaps forego or delay children who are surely the largest contributor to premature aging.

It’s time to destress – now where’s that nice cup of black tea?

Making news in the zone

Class is always in style

Dame Judi Dench has become British Vogue’s oldest cover star, securing her first front page for the style magazine at the age of 85.

Dench began her acting career in 1959 on television. Over a 60-plus year career she earned her national treasure status, playing roles such as M in the James Bond franchise and as Queen Elizabeth in Shakespeare in Love, for which she won an Oscar in 1999, aged 64.

Commenting on the couture she wore for the photo shoot, she says, of one outfit. “The cloak I was made to wear! Like five foxes fucking on my back!” she said. “A battered, mangy old cat… A great big orange bruiser. What’s that about?”

Who knew gardening was an extreme sport?

Brian May has complained of “relentless pain” after he was taken to hospital following a gardening injury that tore muscles in his buttocks.

Writing on Instagram, the Queen guitarist said: “I managed to rip my gluteus maximus to shreds in a moment of overenthusiastic gardening. So suddenly I find myself in a hospital getting scanned to find out exactly how much I’ve actually damaged myself. Turns out I did a thorough job and I won’t be able to walk for a while or sleep, without a lot of assistance, because the pain is relentless.”

One tough hood.

George Hood, a 62-year-old former US Marine, broke the world planking record with a time of 8hr 15min 15sec, adding an extra 14 minutes to the previous record. Hood had lost his 1hr 20 sec record in 2016 to Mao Weidong, a police officer from China, who set a new record with a time of 8hr 1min.

Eight hours is a long time spent with your face hovering 20cm away from the floor of a gym. Hood reportedly trained for up to seven hours a day to set the new record.

Planking performed by a grey veteran is a safe and healthy core body exercise. Not a dangerous death inducing activity, brought to infamy by young Instagramers who planked to fame at cliff edges in search of the perfect photo opportunity.

Playing on

Playing football as a professional had remained a distant dream for Eez Eldin Bahder for decades. At the age of 75, he registered with the Egyptian Football Association as its oldest player yet. The father of four and grandfather of six, started playing football in the streets of Cairo at the age of six. Though he carried on playing as an amateur, he abandoned his dream of becoming a professional striker pursuing his work as a civil engineer.

October 6, a club which plays in Egypt’s third division had signed the 75-year-old Bahder who scored a penalty on his debut to secure a 1-1 draw. The grandfather needs to play just 90 more minutes for his team to be officially recognised by the Guinness Book of World Records. Should he play the second match he will beat the current holder Isaak Hayik, who played keeper for Israel’s Ironi Or Yehuda, aged 73.

Culture Zone.

This year, 2020, marks an era when cultural icons of our younger years moved into the grey zone.

Mad Max. The low-budget film of a dystopian future was released in Australia in 1979 but this year celebrated the 40th anniversary of its US release where Australian accents were dubbed with American accents and the title changed to the Road Warrior.
MASH the movie. While eclipsed by the TV series which ended in 1983, the original movie turned 50 this year. The movie starring Elliott Gould, Donald Sutherland and Sally Kellerman is still recognised in the top 100 comedy films of all time as judged by the BBC. I do prefer the TV version with Alan Alda, Wayne Rogers and Loretta Swit.
Friday the 13th: The maligned slasher movie which evolved into a franchise well into the 2000’s, this year turned 40. A hockey mask would never again be seen as a piece of innocent safety equipment.
The Female Eunuch. Germaine Greer’s feminist masterpiece 40 years on, came to be regarded as a funny, angry, clever and hopeful attempt to change women’s lives.
Let it Be. The single and the album were released in 1970. The song gave the Beatles their seventh consecutive year charting a number 1 hit, sharing the all-time record, at the time, with Elvis Presley. The album marked the final Beatles album, recorded as the fab four before they disintegrated and moved into their solo careers.

Hopefully this provided a welcome break from the virus targetting the greyzone.

So…till next time.

June 8, 2020 0

January in the grey zone

Time can fly by in the grey zone, here is a quick wrap of what happened during January in the……..

Whatever gets you through….

A disturbing report from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW) highlighted that many older Australians are using illegal drugs. People aged 50 and over had increasing numbers using illicit substances like cannabis and pharmaceutical drugs being used for non-medical purposes. As reported in the Sydney Morning Herald, an “ageing cohort” of drug users had not given up substances in the same numbers as the generations that preceded and followed them.

For those aged in their fifties, the proportion of recent illicit drug users increased from 6.7 per cent to 11.7 per cent. Males in this age cohort were more likely to use illicit drugs, with the proportion of 50-something men reporting recent use increasing from 8.1 per cent to 15 per cent. For those aged 60 and over, the increase was from 4 per cent to 7.9 per cent.

The report said women were most likely to suffer drug-induced deaths in their mid-to-late 40s, with benzodiazepine the most common substance implicated in adult female drug deaths. For men aged 55 years and over, opiate-based painkillers were the most common substance present in toxicology reports.

Bad habits grow

The same report also showed the proportion of older people who drank at dangerous levels – consuming 11 or more standard drinks on a single occasion in the past 12 months – had “significantly increased” in the three years to 2016, from 9.1 per cent to 11.9 per cent for those in their fifties and from 4.7 per cent to 6.1 per cent for those in their sixties.

People in their sixties were the most likely to exceed the National Health and Medical Research Council guidelines by drinking more than four standard drinks a day at least five days a week, with 7 per cent doing so in 2016.

This working life

Turning back the clock; Age based dismissal reversed

A 74 year old handyman won his unfair dismissal claim against a motel group. The group alleged that due to the handyman’s age he didn’t have the required physical capability to perform his job despite having worked with the group for over two years. The group was reported as saying the 74 year old should be “enjoying his retirement.”

The Fair Work Commission (FWC) found the reason for the employee’s dismissal, which was made without any medical advice or assessment, “unsound, fanciful and capricious”

The Commissioner found the handyman was found to be “legally entitled to work and clearly capable of performing the work” and ordered that he be reinstated.

Appropriate work or work appropriate

While the government is urging workers in the greyzone to retrain and learn new skills to maintain employability, expert research is arguing that workplaces also need to learn how to adapt work to suit people in the 50+ range and proposing retraining as the only solution is reinforcing stereotypes and discriminatory barriers. Some employers are finding older workers are better suited to certain work particularly.

Dept of Employment shows that jobs for people in mid-40 to mid-50 with strong growth prospects exists across the welfare, construction, medical and education sectors particularly in white collar jobs.

Health and welfare. If we don’t grow up it will kill us

In 2019 it was found that Middle aged men are more likely to die than young people on NSW roads.

The last 12 months 352 people were killed, 115 aged between 30 & 59, a 10% increase from 2018 and emerging trend. Research from the Centre for Road Safety found that men admitted to taking more risks on the road when they were driving alone, particularly speeding and had an overinflated view of their ability.

Bernard Carlon, Executive Director of the Centre for Road Safety, is calling for drivers to make road safety a priority this year. “Our research tells us that men admit to taking more risks when they drive alone – especially speeding,” he said.

To all the middle aged men, as the sergeant would say on Hill Street Blues:

In the winner’s zone

The Golden Globes winners against nominees show exemplifies the journey through the grey zone.

Best Actress winner was Renee Zellweger, 50.

In the best supporting actress category, it was Laura Dern 52, with other zone nominees Kathy Bates 71 and Annette Bening 61.

In the best support actor category, it was full of zone nominees. The award won by Brad Pitt 56 from nominees Tom Hanks 63, Anthony Hopkins 82, Al Pacino 79 and Joe Pesci 76.

Closer to home

Dr James Muecke, 56, was awarded Australian of the Year for the surgeon’s work preventing blindness. In 2000 he co-founded Vision Myanmar at the South Australian Institute of Ophthalmology and later co-founded Sight For All, a social impact organisation aiming to create a world where everyone can see. More recently Dr Muecke’s work has specifically focused on preventing the leading cause of blindness in adults — type 2 diabetes.

Senior Australian of the Year was obstetrics specialist John Newnham. The 67 year old Professor Newnham is one of the world’s leading authorities in the prevention of pre-term birth and his initiatives have been credited for reducing pre-term births in WA by eight per cent.

Escapades From the grey zone to the Antarctica zone.

Australian explorer Geoff Wilson has cracked the record for the longest unsupported journey across the Antarctic, covering 5306 kilometres of icy terrain with nothing more than his own body, a wind kite and a sled full of food. Dr Wilson, 49, skied into the Russia’s Novolazarevskaya Station early on Saturday 4 January, Antarctic time, 58 days after he set out, beating the previous record by 206 kilometres.

“I was thrilled to be alive, overjoyed to be done and waves of relief washed over me as I stood almost stunned in a colourful isolated Russian outpost, the wind screaming through it. almost stunned in a colourful isolated Russian outpost, the wind screaming through it,” Dr Wilson wrote on his blog, The Longest Journey.

February 8, 2020 0

Stuck in a nowhere zone

Too sick to live, too well to die.

And so my frail, fragile father lays on his hospital bed as his organs shutdown. Stuck in a greyzone waiting for nature to take its course – as the nurse put it.

My heart breaks to see him like this. We’ve had the meaningful chats. Now it’s time to try and somehow distract ourselves from the inevitable.

Whenever inevitability decides to come.

Twice rescued and bought extra time. Extra time well used till now.

Family have gathered, friends have visited. Memories replayed, all the unsaid things now said. A final drink or two, the ‘pre-wake party’ Dad called it. He always did like to be present for a drink and a chat.

The long slow painful years of decline have disappeared into the rear vision mirror, and now before us all is a new reality Like an animal stuck in the head lights – life and death are frozen in front of us all.

I think he resents the decisions I made telling the doctors to go ahead with treatment. Yet he did want to find out if there was a miracle cure, a way out.

There wasn’t and here we are in the greyzone, lost and not sure where to go; trapped in each day trying to make the best of each opportunity. My sister’s coaxing him for another walk to the cafe, I chat about the football team; if only he could stay for them to win another championship he would be an immortal- a championship is galaxy light years away.

Perhaps the arrival of the great-grand child will come forward and his inevitability will be delayed so they will coincide? They are now rushing towards each other; will their timing be right to meet?

We’ve had the extended time but he’s had enough.

Still yet this zone, this extra time, is a privilege. We’ve shared and said all the things we wanted to say, held each other, shared a drink, shed a few tears, had a few laughs.

I’m sad and yet unlike other stories we’ve had the privilege, the wonderful opportunity to be here together. Joined moments to remember our shared history.

He has had, we’ve all had, the opportunity to prepare. Unlike so many others, an opportunity he didn’t have for his son who was suddenly gone.

But now I wish I could lead Dad out of this zone.

July 1, 2019 0

The value of experience?

“It’s good to see a few grey heads here.” I smiled at them.

The wind swooshed up and over the escarpment, rocking the gliders as they were prepared for us.

They chuckled, “why do you say that?”

“It means you’ve jumped off and landed a few times! You’re experienced”

A little apprehensive, the last thing we wanted was a young kamikaze pilot intent on showing us a few of their fancy tricks more than a hundred metres in the air.

Hitched into my harness and clipped into the glider, I needed to fold my 6 foot frame into position under the glider canopy and lay flat out to check the settings.

I regained my feet, somewhat ungainly.

“It’s ok, we know it’s not as easy to get up as it used to be.” Trevy, my pilot, laughed.

Last instructions on what to do, he re-assured me to follow him and it would be fine.

“Hold my harness, here and here – just follow me, don’t fight it, I’ll steer us around.”

We inched towards the dirt patch at the edge of the jump off point, the wind slammed up and over the hill trying to lift us off before we were ready. Chris and Dan, the only one without a head of grey but who had a few wrinkles instead, gripped the edges of the glider. The chilly wind swept over my face, the material shook, the rattle made it a little hard to hear. Trevy waited for the right wind, as the frame shook hard, he coached me 1, 2 steps and we were in the air – “lock your legs into the strap- it’s more comfortable.” He shouted over the wind, reminding me of the procedure.

Swooping and hovering over the trees and beach below, it was magic.

Trevy was busy reading the wind and checking for other gliders, he talked through his pilot’s mental check list, till we settled into a comfortable rhythm.

We yelled a conversation about work, moving and our families, as we swept back over the escarpment, turned and ran with the wind stream up the coast. Over the water, we glimpsed breeching whales and swept back to climb again. The wind was freezing, our noses running freely. Circling below, Carol was out gliding with Dan. Thirty minutes passed in a flash and it was time to land, gently like landing on a pillow.

What an experience!

Carol and I sat in a café, to finally regain some warmth. The flight provoked a conversation about experience. Here we’d put ourselves in some else’s hands – experienced hands. People we’d never met, we just trusted them. Carol said she’d felt better that there was no young daredevil but still she had quizzed Dan – how many times had he flown -many he re-assured her.

Here was a situation where we left ourselves to people we’d only just met, our lives in their hands. We were reliant on their experience to launch and land safely – the ultimate KPI. “Must safely land 100% of the times you take off.”

It turned our thoughts to the feeling we’d both been experiencing. We’d felt undervalued in our work. Our experience seemed to mean little. Hard won experience was simply untapped.

For us, it was the realisation that until you have experience and seen situations many times, it’s hard to define – perhaps that was the problem. It was the little and big things of knowing what to look for and where the traps lay.

Like when Trevy and I hit a small shudder in the air. Trevy pointed out that it was the turbulence off Dan’s wing. “On a still day that could be a big problem, you needed to keep your distance.”

Why was there the reluctance we mused? Had we approached the situations the wrong way; after all, no-one wants to hear “I told you so”? But that’s never been our motivation.

Perhaps others needed to prove themselves, was it their insecurities? We shouldn’t take the shunning personally.

Conscious not to be perceived as being stuck in our ways we don’t say – “we’ve tried that it didn’t work!” We had both sat back and in our own ways, let it all swim around us. Letting annoyance build to varying degrees.

Instead of sitting back to avoid stirring turbulence, we resolved that we’d prove our experience was valuable. Otherwise it was doing ourselves and our work a disservice.

We know we’ve both been here before. We needed to rely on our experience and take the time to explain our opinion.

We were not being difficult or stuck in a position but like Trevy and Dan we’d need to use our experience to work out how to get lift off, read the winds and manage the turbulence. All the while reassuring ourselves and others our hard-won experience were worth something, to avoid the traps and safely glide into a landing for us all.

November 4, 2017 0

The countdown is on…..

The rip hit me. Another rip of tape. Wrapped around the box, the slap on cardboard to fix the packing tape in place.

The countdown is winding down to day zero. One room is empty and in a few days the second room will be vacated. Another step into adulthood for our other son. Slowly he’s been helping us acclimatise by splitting time at home and his Fiancé’s home. She’s been doing the same with her family. Some days we’re again a family of 4, albeit a different 4 and sometimes there’s just the 2 of us, home alone.

It’s been on the horizon for some time but now it’s squarely in our sights. This is a new and exciting phase for us as a couple. It’s also sure to be a shock which may take some time for us to fully adjust and become comfortable. We’ve been trying to find the balance of helping but not intruding. He’s an adult now, though we’ve been adult for a bit longer, that is we have some experiences which may or may not be helpful.

This is the quieter son, the ultimate quiet achiever who we were once worried wouldn’t get out of his own way to achieve his potential. While the communication in the house is usually subdued it will now almost certainly be like a submarine on a secret mission. Days will pass into long periods of radio silence. Sometimes we know too much about Mr Noisey’s chaotic life and we’re suddenly drawn into the vortex of chaos. Unlike the noisy one, we’re not going to receive the daily phone call from Mr Quiet Achiever.

This change. Maybe it’s not in terms of good or bad, just different. We’ll find out soon enough.

We’ve also been attempting to re-balance our lives. We’ve had a period of stability and comfort in routine. Perhaps the secret is to not get too comfortable.

Still those nights when there’s only the 2 of us are just days away. Could we have done more to prepare ourselves? We’ve always been a close family and now that closeness has been physically dragged apart to leave just the 2 of us closer than ever, if we’ve prepared correctly.

We’ve been talking about it. We’ve agreed we need to keep rebuilding our general interests. This means keeping up with the news (but not too much – it gets depressing), reading widely, finding new podcasts we can discuss and share. Seeing our friends more regularly. A neglect we’ve all been guilty of. We’ve all relegated our friendships behind family demands and now it’s like a new awakening.

The two of us need to find new things which challenge and educate, little simple things we can look forward to sharing and to talking about. Succumbing to the daily grind alarms us, we’ve been there. We need to be on alert to guard against the never ending groundhog day syndrome.

The longer term options, the dreams they are back on the table and now we can concentrate on those instead of the children. We’re looking forward to the house being ours. We can do whatever, wherever, whenever; As we leave it is how it will be when we get home. Already it’s starting to feel empty

Three things we’ll just need to adjust to life as a couple.

Each evening it will be only “how was your day?”, “did you see/hear/read?” For one other person to respond. Could be a quick conversation. How to make sure it doesn’t end up a mono-syllable followed by silence?
The IT & home entertainment helpdesk function will need to be via phone rather than in person, or hello Mr Google.
Where will the younger perspective on life come from? We don’t want to end up old and out of touch.

It’s all exciting, a little scary and a little sad. The walls full of family photos will be nice reminders, it’s not like we’ll never see them again.

We need to find the challenges to keep growing and to find our way through this transition period. Let’s see how we make our way to the empty nest on the other side of the grey zone.

July 17, 2017 0

When your body lets you down

There’s a time later in life when your body decides to fail you. Your bladder decides it can’t hold on during the night so, like a baby, you get up 2 or 3 or 4 times not for feeding but emptying. Your mind battles trying to convince your bladder that it can’t possibly be ready to go again. But you know you can’t lay there waiting for your partner to get up to go to the toilet for you.

You are kicking the ball with the kids or maybe chasing them up a little hill or doing that running exercise in the gym you’ve done a million times; but this time your calf decides it can’t or won’t push one more time. The poor thing; it’s tired from all those years of squatting, walking and running who knows how many times a day. Now it decides to go pop! Tricking you into thinking someone’s kicked or punched you in the calf. A funny place for someone to hit you – but then again the body doesn’t care. The calf has sent its message, and it’s not a kick starter into needing to have a conversation with the brain; it just hurts and needs treatment.

The mind tells your body that it can go one more time just like you used to go, you can push harder just once more, chase that ball and relive the glory of your younger years, lift that weight like when you were a prime physical specimen. The dastardly mind, like a mate that knows how to wind you up, tricks the body into one more effort.

Sometimes that trick is one trick too many when the body decides that it can’t keep up and fails you; Occasionally with devastating consequences. With the autumn taking over and training starting for the winter season of footy (whatever the flavour), it’s time to take stock before you decide you can keep pushing your body.

My brother had that moment 2 seasons ago when he backed up for his second game of football (soccer) in the over 35 competition. Despite the best efforts of spectators, his friends, his teammates, opposition players, anyone who was there; his life-long love affair with the game came to an abrupt halt. His heart failed him after his mind convinced him he could play another game that afternoon.

So before you decide you’re ready to play: to compete for that ball, to make that tackle, to chase harder than you have in years, Get yourself checked out, see your GP, make sure that you get to enjoy your game and the after game. You are probably carrying more than a few kilos and the good and not-so-good life has taken a toll on your. Don’t just look in the mirror, slap your belly and suck it in then congratulate yourself because you don’t look too bad for someone of x years old. Even if you’ve played for years take stock and have a check on how your body is holding up!

This season ask your club about the Heartbeat of Football campaign and similar campaigns around the country to have defibrillators at sporting grounds. Heartbeat of football was kick started by Andy Paschalidis who played alongside his mate, my brother, to try to avoid what is becoming an all too often occurrence, as masters competitions grow in popularity, at sporting grounds,.

If my brother had listened to his body or had a recent check up and a defibrillator had been at his ground, maybe he would still be here today. Without either he’s not around to back-up again this season.

March 26, 2016 0

January: Grey Zone inhabitants making the news

Whilst the world seems full of younger people making all the moves here’s a short list of some grey zone inhabitants who made the news in January.

Politics

obama turnbull — Prime Minister Turnbull and President Obama had a Whitehouse chat on PM Turnbull’s worldwind January visits, including a trip to the Australian troops in Afghanistan before heading home to a tax storm and moving into the Lodge with Lucy, the first PM since 2013 (about 3 prime ministers ago) to live in the lodge.

obama speaking — President Obama delivered his last State of the Union address ahead of the campaigns for party nominations where for the presidential elections later this year. Where there will be lots of grey and a lot of orange if the The Donald is successful.

Sport

A pair of grey zone cricketing brothers (Mike and David Hussey) captained their teams to the final of the T20 BBL05 with the senior Mike Hussey taking the honours over David.

lfc — A bunch of greying and greyed Liverpool Legends took on an Australian ALL Stars (practically all grey) 11 and showed that the legs may be slower but the silky skills and soccer (football) brains were still sharp.

Society

: Craig Foster (Foz) had some unwanted attention after the Legends, ALL stars game. Needing to defend himself against some perverts suggesting inappropriate attention to a child that led the teams onto the field. Which happened to be him as a father giving his daughter a hug as the teams lined up.

: Lee Lin Chin was the face of Operation Boomerang, the Lamb Council’s Australia Day ad campaign. Eliciting outrage from Vegans and controversy of the appropriation of Aboriginal Culture on a sensitive day for the Aboriginal Society.

Entertainment

: Samuel L Jackson gave a standout movie performance, as major Marquis Warren, in Tarantino’s Hateful 8 amongst an ensemble cast. Jackson obviously loving his appearance in another Tarantino movie just seems to get better with age.

Missing from screens for sometime Kurt Russell as Jon Ruth gives a menacing performance in Hateful8,dragging Jennifer Jason Leigh to the gallows of Justice and his reward.

Icons who unfortunately exited the grey zone

The iconic genre busting and music scene transforming David Bowie. From Space Oddity to Blackstar 40 years later. The thin white duke not only re-defined music but even financial markets when he issued Bowie Bonds in 1977 a financial securities investment to buy back the rights to many of his earlier works from his former manager.

: Alan Rickman who bought superb acting across a range of roles but best remembered for menacing performances including the iconic Professor Severus Snape in Harry Potter and as Die Hard’s Hans Gruber – one of only 2 roles he agreed was a villian, the rest being interesting characters.

March 1, 2016 0

Zooming in the grey zone

Doing things in the grey zone rather than as a family of dad, mum and children, was a new experience for us today; Opening up the first of new possibilities.

A day of jet skiing would normally be something planned a few days in advance: Check the weather, check the wind conditions, invite out some friends and their children. Whomever can make it, make it.

The day before, lunch is prepared, the car is packed with beach games, the large shade tent (our taj mahal), beach chairs, wave board and the towing biscuit. That had been the way for a few years now.

Today we woke up, and decided to go for a jetski. Just us, while the weather is good and before our life at the end of summer is again consumed by normality. No prep, no organisation and no children; they’re both busy working today. A quick check of the weather forecast , throw a few things together; A change of clothes, towels, life jackets, swimming costumes , some water and we’re on our way.

Launch and setup is now all one activity done in 30 minutes rather than drop off the family, unload the car and carry it all down to the beach ready for setup, while later I then drive to boat ramp to launch. This all takes over an hour till we’re ready to start the fun.

We zoomed around on the bay earlier than usual. The water glass like smooth and the weather gorgeous, we rode just as a couple taking turns at the controls.

It was great conditions for towing a waterboard or kids on a tube, just that today there was no-one to tow! Ironically while we usually would have crammed in as many rides as possible before the wind lifted and chopped up the water making towing uncomfortable today the smooth conditions lasted till lunch. I watched another ski tow a tube backwards and forwards until the weather chopped up the water when we packed everything back into the ski and shot off back to the ramp to leave.

While we would have liked the boys to have been with us to share this, it was a taste of the upcoming life in the grey zone.

We’ll need to convince our friends, now also free of children to join us at the bay. The children have been the the centre of our collective universes, the gravitational pull that held the group of friends together, so now it’s time to re-group and re-establish our relationships without children, as another experience in the grey zone unfolds.

January 31, 2016 0