The rip hit me. Another rip of tape. Wrapped around the box, the slap on cardboard to fix the packing tape in place.

The countdown is winding down to day zero. One room is empty and in a few days the second room will be vacated. Another step into adulthood for our other son. Slowly he’s been helping us acclimatise by splitting time at home and his Fiancé’s home. She’s been doing the same with her family. Some days we’re again a family of 4, albeit a different 4 and sometimes there’s just the 2 of us, home alone.

It’s been on the horizon for some time but now it’s squarely in our sights. This is a new and exciting phase for us as a couple. It’s also sure to be a shock which may take some time for us to fully adjust and become comfortable. We’ve been trying to find the balance of helping but not intruding. He’s an adult now, though we’ve been adult for a bit longer, that is we have some experiences which may or may not be helpful.

This is the quieter son, the ultimate quiet achiever who we were once worried wouldn’t get out of his own way to achieve his potential. While the communication in the house is usually subdued it will now almost certainly be like a submarine on a secret mission. Days will pass into long periods of radio silence. Sometimes we know too much about Mr Noisey’s chaotic life and we’re suddenly drawn into the vortex of chaos. Unlike the noisy one, we’re not going to receive the daily phone call from Mr Quiet Achiever.

This change. Maybe it’s not in terms of good or bad, just different. We’ll find out soon enough.

We’ve also been attempting to re-balance our lives. We’ve had a period of stability and comfort in routine. Perhaps the secret is to not get too comfortable.

Still those nights when there’s only the 2 of us are just days away. Could we have done more to prepare ourselves? We’ve always been a close family and now that closeness has been physically dragged apart to leave just the 2 of us closer than ever, if we’ve prepared correctly.

We’ve been talking about it. We’ve agreed we need to keep rebuilding our general interests. This means keeping up with the news (but not too much – it gets depressing), reading widely, finding new podcasts we can discuss and share. Seeing our friends more regularly. A neglect we’ve all been guilty of. We’ve all relegated our friendships behind family demands and now it’s like a new awakening.

The two of us need to find new things which challenge and educate, little simple things we can look forward to sharing and to talking about. Succumbing to the daily grind alarms us, we’ve been there. We need to be on alert to guard against the never ending groundhog day syndrome.

The longer term options, the dreams they are back on the table and now we can concentrate on those instead of the children. We’re looking forward to the house being ours.  We can do whatever, wherever, whenever; As we leave it is how it will be when we get home. Already it’s starting to feel empty

Three things we’ll just need to adjust to life as a couple.

• Each evening it will be only “how was your day?”, “did you see/hear/read?” For one other person to respond. Could be a quick conversation. How to make sure it doesn’t end up a mono-syllable followed by silence?
• The IT & home entertainment helpdesk function will need to be via phone rather than in person, or hello Mr Google.
• Where will the younger perspective on life come from? We don’t want to end up old and out of touch.

It’s all exciting, a little scary and a little sad. The walls full of family photos will be nice reminders, it’s not like we’ll never see them again.

We need to find the challenges to keep growing and to find our way through this transition period. Let’s see how we make our way to the empty nest on the other side of the grey zone.